Here's what happened:

Apes were cool.

Monkeys were fine.

Bonobos were happy (and doing a ton of fucking).

And then cro-magnon man happened.

And neanderthals.

And homo erectus (ha-ha).

Our ancestors bred like fucking was fun.

And then it got crowded.

Too many neighbors at the watering hole.

Too many homos fetching fruit and killing critters.

Some moved out of the tropics.

My kinfolk moved north and somehow ended up in

Norway.

There's no fetching fruit year 'round in Norway.

A kinfolk gotta learn to can.

But cans are difficult to make.

I'm just a gatherer, after all.

What's that, you say?

Your kin can make cans?

And jars?

Your great-grandmama is the

Queen of cans and jars?

Well get thefuckouttahere!

Let's say I trade you some of my berries

for some of your jars.

Now we can both eat in winter,

support our families,

so that more baby homos

can fill the land.

But wait a minute...

What just happened here?

Commerce, muthafucka!

And with commerce comes competition:

       My berries are bigger.

                    My berries are fruitier.

And so here we are.

Those equatorial peoples ain't so competitive in our competitive global economy, are they?

Huh.

Funny, that.

Tough shit for them.

Here's some guns and bombs.

Cuz we want your copper and silver and coffee and uranium and whateverthefuck it takes to keep our insecure machine running.

It just needs a little more.

And so here we are.

Nation states and corporations

fighting for power and money

all because

fucking is fun.