So I had this idea the other day to share a daily/regular journal about my experiences and thoughts as I explore spirituality, the path to self-actualization and what it means to be human. It would be honest and ragged and maybe stream-of-conscious. I’d get in the daily habit of it and this would be the first one.
Who else out there cares about that sort of stuff?

I write this as I sit atop a picnic table near the railroad tracks. The picnic table is barely standing, nails sticking out above its faded grey sections. One side of it doesn’t even exist anymore, a bench and two table boards were maybe used to warm the fire of a homeless person. But it’s sturdy enough and in the sun. And did I mention it’s right by the railroad tracks? And with a view of the mountains (on the other side of the interstate highway, which I can barely hear). The tracks get regular use, too. Seems tough to go more than about 30 minutes without another train going by. They’re hauling coal from maybe somewhere in eastern MT. I dunno. Empty cars are going east and loaded ones going west.
My head has a nice buzz going from the legal CO weed I smoked..next to the tracks..on the gravel road by the broken picnic table in the sun. Being in nature with the occasional train is a wonderful experience stoned. My body is tingling and my senses are heightened. The leaves and grass rustle more audibly and birds are more present. The wind on my bare arms is rustling each of my arm hairs and I can feel it. They’re blowing in the breeze like the natural grass down by the tracks.
And then when a train goes by the rumbling and clanging is positively penetrating. I close my eyes and just feel the energy. Our eyes can mislead us, don’t trust them.
By closing my eyes I just feel the energy of the universe. Everything is ultimately energy waves and it’s much easier to connect with closed eyes.  Now a train is teasing me. I hear it but it’s not coming. Is there another way? Could it come from the west and turn southbound? No, I don’t think there’s tracks going that way from right here. Too many mountains and national parks to go around.
Empty your mind and close your eyes and just listen.
Don’t peek.
Feel it.
Feel the energy.